Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. SML

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. SML====Example

I had a asthma attack while my boyfriend and I was having sex today, instead of him stopping when he saw me gasping for air, he kept pounding me harder thinking that I was enjoying the sex. SML

last night i wanted to send a txt to some shawtie...explaining all the crude things i wanted to do to her.....woke up this morning to find a text from my mother saying we need to talk....the girls name is one above my mums on my contact....i don diee

All this while i have been taking pooping for granted only for the Surgeon to say "you need to poop or u going under the knife" Pooping became a prayer request..Chei ...SML

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." SML

i'm supposed to be doing third party reconcillation at work and and i'm on faajihouse. The director just walked in on me dancing and the work is not done. i got a write up. see my life.

After waiting for the bus for 2hrs, i opened my bag to get my wallet so i could pay my fare until i realized my wallet was lost. SML ooo

I got into a bus, sat down and noticed someone was popping gum noisily in my ear. I was mad at the person and wanted to ask the person to stop but when i turned, i saw this huge, macho looking man with this wickedness in his face. Immediately, my mouth shut up cos if i say something he may lift me and throw my skinny body out of the window . See My Life.

I just waka from aboard Virgin Airline walking pass Immigration and well wishers who are saying good bye to their loved ones ,when walking through the airport gate i fund out that i left my passport with the Immigration officer who checked and cleared me at terminal checkpoint only did i know that he was my former girlfriend husband, what do i have to say now to him....?