Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed."SML

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend we should start seeing other people. She said "Don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you." SML

so i was doing #2 earlier on today and it stinking up the whole bathroom up to the point that everyone that came in to the bathroom ran back out. At the end, i tried to flush and the damn thing wasn't going down so i covered it up and left it there. i feel sorry for the next person to go in that stall. #shock of their life.

wen i finally got the luck to fuck my girl, her pussy was so tight that i cud not penetrate her easily, finally owing to the fact we used her friend's room, i just sucked her cunt and left disappointed....

So i just finished takin my shower, gettin ready to embark on my 2 hour drive back home to my fam. cologne poppin, fresh boy status. i got into my car fixing my mirrors and gettin comfy. i saw this lady trying to talk to me from across the road so i rolled down my window and as the lady approached my vehicle, i noticed she had bout 4 teeth left in her mouth and she asks 'Can i do a blowjob for some change' i screamed 'hell fuckin NO' and the lady was scared she ran away. i was so disgusted. After all my fresh boy status, is this the best i can attract? Chei.......SEE MY LIFE

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks.

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. See My Life

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option.

so back in those days i always thought i had it going,especially when my friends and i sleep with our girlfriend's friends i thought i was a pro,just to find out last week from one of my ex-girlfriend's friend that i had slept with as well, that rumor had it back then that my penis was so tiny as an infant's penis and they all just wanted to see it, what really hurt me most was that they all faked d orgasm just to make me feel good about myself. in other words they all feel i wasn't man enough.

Ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. SML